Ring Crew Commentaries: Hulk Hogan. No job title. No good booking opinions. Dream rapist.

By Dubya

It was recently discussed on the Ring Crew Show about how Hulk Hogan doesn’t know what his job is in TNA/Impact Wrestling and his reasoning for convincing the company to change the finish at Bound For Glory in September.  I wanted to divulge a little more on these subjects in this week’s Ring Crew Commentaries.

First of all, his comments in the Sun about his job title:

“I don’t know what I do!" Hogan said. "I really don’t know! Everybody always asks me that! They’ve got a bunch of people there. They’ve got Dixie (Carter), of course. They’ve got Vince Russo who is the head writer, they’ve got Bruce Pritchard is the head of creative. Eric Bischoff is the executive producer. To me he’s between the network and the company, a middle man. 
I contribute, I’ll throw stuff out there creatively and every once in a while if I need to hit the ring I’ll slide on out there and do whatever, but I don’t really have a job description. I just try to be there, listen and contribute. If there is anything I can do to help or guide the direction, I’m there."

This is hilarious on several levels.  It’s first of all good to mention that Hulk Hogan is the highest paid employee by TNA Impact Wrestling.  Second, it’s funny to see that not only does TNA have little idea on how to use Hogan other than a company mascot but they just don’t know how to tell Hogan this.  He brings very little to the table and they know it.  What adds to the hilarity is that Hogan, as TNA’s mascot, is supposed to promote the company when he gets gigs elsewhere and he rarely does.  If Hogan is on a celebrity roast completely independent of TNA, he doesn’t promote the company.  He only promotes himself.  This comes as a shock to nobody, yet still hilarious to mention. 

What should Hogan be doing in TNA?  Well… I don’t know.  He’s honestly redundant since Sting does the job just fine and since Hogan isn’t doing any media appearances for TNA that is going to make them any money, he’s better off not working for them.   So instead, TNA has decided to insert him into the Garrett vs. Eric storyline because we of course needed some Hulkamania to put Garrett Bischoff over.  Let me mention that this angle is worse than the David Flair storyline because that was a subtle rib to Ric Flair (not saying that makes it better) and nobody was taking David seriously.  Not even his dad.  Garrett, on the other hand, we’re supposed to believe is a budding wrestling superstar in the shadow of his evil father.  I can only imagine how infuriated everyone in the locker room is during this story.

The best use of Hogan in TNA right now is to send him to Ring Ka King as… no wait, that would ruin Ring Ka King.  Damnit.  The best use of Hogan is to not use Hogan.  Wasting money is better than wasting your product.  I give up. 

Next up on, “Shit Hogan Says” is Hogan’s comments towards suggesting Roode to not go over at Bound for Glory against Angle.  Now, this is a little more interesting because myself and D-Roc discussed how there is good booking in Hogan’s words but it’s completely misguided:

"They were setting him up for failure. They had his parents and everybody saying what a great guy he was. You put the belt on him and he’s a good guy but he’s plain white milk toast and who is he going to work with? When I was sitting at home and I watched the interviews of his parents and his kids and his wife saying what a great guy he was I thought ‘You’ve got one of the greatest wrestling angles set up here that I have ever seen and you don’t even know it!’ 
Don’t let him win the belt, have him screw everybody, turn heel, put some heat on him, keep him heel for a long time, get him red hot, and then when you turn him babyface he’s got a chance to be a Rock or a Stone Cold or a Hogan. (I thought before Bound For Glory) the way you guys have him set up now he’s just ‘one of those TNA originals that has five-star matches that don’t mean nothing’. Give the guy a chance!"

Let me explain where Hogan’s viewpoint falls through.  Roode’s character is one obsessed with the TNA World Championship.  By having him lose at Bound for Glory, TNA ended up smacking their entire fanbase for supporting a wrestler.  Hogan is correct that Roode would have been a white meat babyface Champion, but Bound For Glory is still where Roode should have won.  What Roode should have been was a short-term Champion.  This allows people to understand why he’d become obsessed with the Championship instead of turning out of nowhere.  He loses the title and now cannot accept who he is.  He must become champion again and he’s willing to screw over his friends and spit in the face of the integrity he’s built up to this point just to become Champion again.  Steve Austin did something similar at Wrestlemania X-7.  That’s when Roode turns on James Storm and beats him for the TNA Championship and runs with the belt as a heel obsessed with being Champion, willing to lose matches if it means keeping the gold.  Instead, TNA built up good will with fans that were usually too jaded to ever give it to the product, only to throw it away once again like they’ve done many times before.  WWE fans are only now accepting this but TNA fans have already been there.  In Hogan’s mindset, turning Roode heel is going to make him a big star in the future.  Unfortunately, he’s currently feeling like a poor man’s 2000 era Triple H sans Stephanie McMahon.  Which is too bad because Roode is a phenomenal worker, one of the best heavyweights in North America today and his mannerisms and character are all done spectacularly by him.  Roode as a performer is both top notch and deserving of his position at the top of TNA.  How he is handled by booking is a complete failure.

Now, I’m sure the title of this is confusing people so I’ll just leave this here so everyone understands that yes, Hulk Hogan could quite possibly be the real Freddy Krueger.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t kill his victims.  He just rapes them.